August 2010

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To My Daughter on Her First Real Day of School

August 30, 2010 in Uncategorized | 2 comments

Sweetest C,

You’re at school today, baby; it’s your first day there by yourself. We went together last Thursday for a couple of hours, so you and the other kids could see what it was going to be like, but today, well, today is the real thing. I’m sitting here at home, thinking about getting some work done, but I can’t stop thinking about you and how your day is going. The house is full of your presence and energy, and yet it’s too quiet. The crayons are neatly stacked in their boxes today, your toys are resting untouched. There’s no thundering footsteps, happy chatter, or silly songs. There’s no “Mama, will you help me?” or “Mama, let’s play.” And I admit, it makes my heart hurt. A lot. I know you’re going to do beautifully at school. You’re inquisitive and thoughtful. You’re friendly and kind. You love to talk to people and make up games for you and your friends to play. School will be the perfect place for you to grow into your beautiful personality. But I know that today marks a huge change in our family’s life together. You and I have shared so much of the past 3 1/2 years with one another. I’m accustomed to your presence in our day-to-day routines, and school….well, school is going to be the new normal for you. For us.

When I dropped you off this morning, we walked in together, you clutching my hand tightly, and yes, me clutching yours right back. We found your cubby, you hung up your backpack by yourself, and we walked into the classroom together. We had a quick good-bye. We had our hug, our kiss, and our “I love you,” just as we did in summer camp. I waved good-bye to you through the classroom door, and left you to be with your new friends and teachers. As I walked out of the building, I wondered if I would see you through the window, and sure enough, you were right there to wave good-bye to me once again. I blew you a kiss and moved out of sight, knowing that quick good-byes are easier for you than long drawn out good-byes. I wanted you to see that I felt confident about you being at school, so that you might feel the same way. Then, as I walked back to the car, my confidence wavered and I wondered if maybe it had been too quick. Were you really okay? Should I have stayed longer? But I made myself stop, take a deep breath, and continue the long, quiet walk back to the car.

A few months ago, your teachers asked each of the parents to write down their hopes, dreams, and goals for their kids this year. I shared a few of the most important ones with the teachers, but there’s more I want to share with you when you’re ready to read this. I want you to know that although I’m wistful and nostalgic about this change, I also remember what it was like for me to go to school, and it was simply incredible. I want for school to be as amazing for you as it was for me. I want you to wake up in the morning filled with excitement about the possibilities that school will hold for you each day. I want you to love it as much as I did. Because no matter what you learn in school, if you love what you’re doing there, the skills you learn, the confidence you will gain, the friendships you will make, and the love of learning that will grow in your heart will stay with you in beautiful, cherished memories and the ability to adapt and learn forever. Above all else, that’s what I hope for you this year and all the many years of education you have ahead of you.

So I will sit here and quietly wait until it’s time to get you. And when I see you, I will hug you tight and tell you that I’m so proud of you (and perhaps in my head, I will tell myself that I’m proud of me, too). And I will sit and happily listen to everything you’ll want to tell me about your adventures at school. And you and I will both be okay.

All my love,
Mama

© 2010, OneShoeOff. All rights reserved.

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Summer Reads

August 9, 2010 in Uncategorized | No comments

To say it has been busy around here would be a gross understatement. It’s been downright chaotic. Between summer camp and travels (both of which deserve their own posts), and sickness and renovations (neither one of which I want to write about), I’ve had hardly a spare moment. Add the 90 plus degrees we’ve been having around here and I’m plumb worn out. BUT, in the spirit of keeping up with at least one topic on my blog, I do want to share a few other books I’ve read recently.

#16 Little Bee by Chris Cleave

This book deals with the very powerful and complex issues surrounding culture and culture clashes, specifically between white European culture and that of war-torn Nigeria. It’s a book that makes you uncomfortable, and while we normally try to avoid those discomforts (mostly because I think we don’t know what to do with them), I feel like it’s necessary to move out of that comfort zone. BUT, despite the book’s powerful story, I am running into the same problem with this book as I have with others recently: I don’t like that a white dude is writing a story of violence and oppression (in this case violence and oppression against women of color) in the first person. And I’m torn because on the one hand I think that people need to know about Nigeria and what’s happened there and surely a book that hits the NY Times bestseller list helps people at least HEAR about it. But on the other hand, it grates against everything in me because, dude, you Just. Don’t. KNOW. You just can’t just take these stories and make them your own! For those that might be reading this that maybe don’t understand why this is a problem for me, I can only liken it to women who are uncomfortable seeing a male gynecologist because how on earth is he going to give you advice on dealing with PMS and childbirth when his plumbing is so very different? No, I know it’s not exactly the same, but perhaps that will help illuminate a little bit why these questions of race and the writing of racially charged stories gets my panties in a twist.

#17 Beatrice and Virgil by Yann Martel

The title characters are taxidermied animals, a donkey and a howler monkey. That should give you an idea about how very bizarre a read this was. The story follows the a writer, Henry, who befriends a taxidermist and…well, not a whole lot actually happens, you know? I enjoyed it. It was challenging and interesting, but I have to be honest, it felt way too…modernist for my liking. It reminded me a great deal of Waiting for Godot, which again is so very interesting, but the style just isn’t to my liking. If you’re looking for something challenging, definitely pick this up, but you’re going to need a lot of patience and mental fortitude to work through it.

#18 The Italian Secretary by Caleb Carr

I have long been a fan of Caleb Carr who writes historical mystery novels set in the late nineteenth century. This particular book was just as kick-ass as his previous ones. It’s a Sherlock Holmes novel and has the added bonus of being written under the commission of the estate of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, which is a pretty awesome gig, if you ask me. Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are written convincingly (at least to my memory, and I’ll admit it’s been quite a few years since I last read Doyle), and it’s a fun, fast read. If you have any interest in Sherlock Holmes or 19th century murder mysteries, you’ll surely enjoy this.

#19 Better: A Surgeon’s Notes on Performance by Atul Gawande

I’ll preface this review by saying that I love, love, LOOOOOOOVE reading medical non-fiction, especially medical case studies, which I know isn’t for the faint of heart or the squeamish among you. Gawande is a well-known and well-regarded surgeon who in Better writes about how to be a good and competent doctor when every moment of every day you’re surrounded by the possibility of screwing up in any one of a number of spectacular ways. He explores ways in which the medical profession can improve based on documented research as well as his own experiences. Because of how I feel about the practice of medicine, books like this make me want to finish up my coursework and apply to medical school. I’m fairly certain most people won’t be left feeling that way, but nevertheless, I think it’s important even for non-medical types to understand the field in order to help themselves receive better care, and an engaging read like this one will definitely help.

I’ve got about 7 more books to share, but I’ll have to save them for another day. Happy reading, friends.

© 2010, OneShoeOff. All rights reserved.

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