Cooking is actually quite aggressive and controlling and sometimes, yes, there is an element of force-feeding going on.
-Nigella Lawson
I have a pet peeve. Okay, fine, I have a lot of pet peeves, but there’s one that’s been getting under my skin lately, and it’s about kids and food. No, it’s not about how our culture dumbs down so-called “kids’ food” so that it’s nothing more than fat and sugar held together with mountains of salt; that’s another pet peeve for another day. But wait, while we’re on the subject, why are we obsessed with “kids’” food?! Do the children in China not eat tofu? Do the children in India not eat curry? Do the children of Sweden not eat smoked salmon?! I don’t understand why our children are born craving mac and cheese and chicken nuggets. Oh, wait…they’re not! Sorry, hang on, wrong soapbox.
So the pet peeve we’re discussing today is when kids respond to seeing or tasting a food item with “Ewwwww! That’s gross!” or “That’s yucky, I don’t want that!” Makes. Me. Crazy. I know that kids go through stages where new foods are genuinely scary for them. We’re biologically programmed to not go around eating everything in sight because it’s dangerous; I get it. What I don’t get is the total and utter lack of respect their word choice demonstrates to the person who prepared the food. We all have our priorities, but I spend a lot of time, money, and effort making sure that my family eats well. My parents and grandparents on both sides pathologically demonstrate love through food, and we work damn hard when we cook. When someone else cooks for us, be it at a restaurant or a friend’s house, I assume that the chef/cook also exerts some level of effort and concern into preparing us a decent meal. So when a child says “That’s so gross!” or “That’s disgusting!” I’ll admit it, I’m horrified that our culture generally allows and accepts this because it’s “age-appropriate” behavior. I don’t care if the food DOES look or taste gross. To me, it demonstrates blatant disrespect for someone else’s hard work. If a friend or family member painted a picture, we wouldn’t allow our child to say “That’s ugly!” If a classmate came up with an idea for a game, we wouldn’t allow our child to say “That’s stupid!” So why is it that I hear so many children say “That’s gross!” or make gagging noises, or make faces in response to someone’s hard work in the kitchen?!
Believe me, I have put my heart and soul into my cooking only to serve my family something completely vile. But if they made faces and gagged and told me “That’s gross!” I would be crushed. In our family, we have a few rules around this issue. First, you don’t get to say anything about how a dish tastes before you’ve tried it. Second, you must try everything. If Mama decides she’s going to try her hand at toxic blowfish sashimi, then you have my blessing to take a pass, but otherwise, you must try everything. Finally, if you try something and you don’t like it, you will NOT make gagging noises; you will NOT make disparaging remarks; you will simply say, “I don’t care for it,” and you will eat something else on your plate. That’s it. Perhaps it’s a matter of semantics, but it’s not hard to say. It’s respectful and kind to the chef. And it accounts for the fact that everyone has different tastes and appreciates different flavors.
What do you think, am I splitting hairs and being overly picky about their choice in words? Does it bother you when kids respond that way? What are the rules around foods kids don’t like in your house?
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